what to do?? 😐

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now. He has a son from a previous relationship. I love his son and I'm still not as close to him as I would love to be but that's not my fault. I am still having an issue with knowing my place. His ex has a bf for 2 years now and he has a kid and they seem close and more like a family but not me and his son. I do not know what to do. I'm not trying to replace the mom at all but if I even try step in and dissapline him cause i dont want him to get hurt I'm in the wrong. It doesn't help that me and his dad (my boyfriend) of 4 years who I've known since I was 12 .. now I'm 24 and him 29. are not very affectionate. We were at the beginning but are hardly affectionate. I love him with all of my heart and I want to be married to him and have a baby but if we're not close now I doubt we'll be close when were married or have a kid. I just don't think it's wrong to have a random big hug or a passionate kiss rather then a peck. am i nuts? i dont want to be feeling miserable or heart broken from time to time. did i mention he works out of town 11 days and is here for 4?. which he spends the whole time with his son or friends. I feel like there's no time for me.