Beyond frustrated and idk what to do

Ashlee • Mrs. Watts 💍 7/29/17 👧🏼 5/3/13 👼🏼4/1/17 My 🌈 👶🏼 3/6/19

Back in April I had a missed miscarriage. I was 12 weeks and baby stopped at 8. It was extremely hard for me considering I had never lost a loved one ( so unfortunately my child had to be my first) and I fought hard to keep the baby (at the time I was still living with my mom and the past week before the miscarriage I had gotten brave enough to tell her). I was supposed to be due October 17 of this year. This has been the hardest 6 months of my entire life. I cry about the baby all of the time and I have tried to make my peace and move on but I can't.. I still hurt over it ontop of this baby stress I'm a daycare teacher and I work in the baby room.. and yes it's like salt on a wound.. a lot of the women around me are pregnant and love to talk about their babies and all I can do is get angry and bitter and wonder why my child isn't coming. Why can't I have another one? (Haven't had a period in 6 months and just now it's light bleeding every few days). I cried at 3am this morning cause a friend of mine got pregnant and she's not even in a relationship.. this has all made me bitter and sad and I'm so over it.. idk what to do anymore but be mad.