The only thing worse than doing long distance is not doing long distance... can anyone else relate?

Just a sorta long, sorta sad story of my sorta LDR.

We dated for a while in high school but then I did a year abroad and we decided not to do long distance or be exclusive while I was away, but we'd see where things were when I got back. That didn't happen. Through a whole bunch of circumstances and fuckups on both sides (basically we both just had some growing up to do), we decided to completely cut things off while I was still overseas.

We only saw each other occasionally throughout the next year (senior year). But then a few days before he left this past May for college in California, we completely reconnected and confessed that we both still had feelings for each other but thought it was unreciprocated. We were inseparable until he left, and in that time we fell in love all over again but on a whole new level from before. Seeing as I was going to take a gap year in Florida and then go to a four year college in Scotland, it was obvious that long distance wasn't much of an option but still we talked about visiting as much as possible.

This summer has been such a roller coaster. Keeping in contact while also trying to keep some space... flip flopping between wondering if we'll ever get to be together again and feeling sure that we will if it's meant to be or we make it happen... It's one of the oddest feelings when we talk to basically have an elephant in the room that if it weren't for the thousands of miles between us we would be together. We don't usually talk about it, but every now and then an "I love you" will slip out of one of us.

So excited, because in December we're both going back to visit our home town in Iowa for the holidays, and we're already making plans to see each other 😊. 5 months down, two and a half to go!!