That’s it, I can’t do it anymore. I have had to leave him tonight. I sit here balling my eyes out, laying on the floor in my 4 month old sons room. In Australia Queensland its 12.30am. My partner is seeing a friend for the last time because he is going across the country. His friend came over at 1pm this afternoon. My partner, has been drinking for basically 12hours straight. He always says to me that he doesn’t want to be with me, and that he can’t stand me. And then afterwards he says he doesn’t mean it. He says this stuff nearly every day.

This morning I asked my partner to pace himself while drinking today, because I had a migraine for a few hours. And I also asked him to not come to bed drunk or too late because I needed the help tonight. So I go upstairs at 10pm and I don’t worry about asking him to come down yet. Then it hits 11.30pm, so I go upstairs and ask him to come down, and he said he’ll be a max of 30mins. It his 12.00am and he comes down, but then he whispers in my ear, I’ll be down in about half an hour. I said that’s not right, because he said to me today that he wouldn’t do this. Mind you at 11.30pm, he couldn’t walk straight. I asked him again to stay down and he gets the shits. Just because his friend is here, doesn’t mean that he can push being a father aside. And kept saying well then I don’t want to fucking be with you anymore, he can’t deal with my shit.

I’ve tried explaining that I am sick of him saying that. I just need his help, and want him to come down here so he can sober up and help me. But he doesn’t want to come down just yet.

He keeps saying that he doesn’t give a fuck anymore, and that he doesn’t want to be with me.

So I’ve had enough. I feel like shit. I can’t do it anymore. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I just want a hug.