Broken

I had a MMC in July. And have been heart broken since. I found out yesterday that my brother and his girlfriend are now pregnant. He hasn't had the balls to tell me himself yet, which I must admit I'm glad about. This hurts so so much. They both knew how much I've been struggling. I don't think they have done it on purpose to upset me, but it's definitely not an accident either. I'm really really struggling with this. Feel like I've gone 10 steps backwards. I just want my BFP now!!!!