My mother is driving me CRAZY

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom will all my heart. She’s gone above and beyond for her kids all our lives. Unfortunately, I didn’t know until I brought my SO into my life that my mother is in fact, a monster-in-law!! Like legit an asshole monster-in-law. I hate to talk about my own mom like that but the shit she says and does is fucking ridiculous!! My sister-in-law (whom my mom doesn’t like and is one of the nicest people I know) just had her first baby in August (moms first grand-baby) and every time she goes to see her she dictates everything about the baby and tells my SIL what to do and what not to do. It doesn’t bother my SIL because she’s mastered the “just nod & act like you’re listening” and also because my mom lives almost two hours away so she doesn’t visit often. My baby is due this month, I’m a FTM and I live with my parents at the moment. My SO and I were living 8 hours away and doing good but once I told my mom I was pregnant she convinced me to move down with her for extra help with the baby. She said there’s a lot of jobs and my SO would be able to find a good paying job right away. We decided to trust my parents, quit our jobs and move down here. As soon as we moved here, everything went straight to shit. Mom lost her job, dad didn’t have a job & SO couldn’t find a job for MONTHS. SO had money saved up, which ended up going all to my parents because they were struggling financially. (Which they never said thank you for because my mom doesn’t like anyone who isn’t her children) fast forward to now, SO found a job that pays $13 an hour, everything else here is $10.50 an hour. While he was making $16 an hour where we previously lived, he had to settle for this. He was able to get my dad a job there (which he never thanked him for) and then from there my dad was able to get a better paying job based off of his truck driving experience (SO doesn’t have experience in this field.) now my mother goes around making snarky comments saying my SO is lazy and can’t afford to buy me anything and he can’t find a better job because he’s lazy. My little brother who is 18 & lives here as well has no job, doesn’t lift a finger for any chores and is rude and disrespectful never gets told anything!! She’s fucking driving me crazy to the point where I just want to tell her off! Not going to point fingers and blame my mom for everything, we could have planned this better and not move down here until we both found jobs, but it is my first baby and I was scared to do it alone up there without my mom. Also, my mom loved my SO prior to us moving in so I didn’t think problems like this would arise. My SO barely makes enough to pay both our bills and that’s it. We don’t pay rent (that was the agreement before we moved down here) but my mom told me we’re going to have to start soon and the only way we’ll be able to pay rent & save to move out is if I look for a job after having baby. But every time I talk about going back to work my mom gets mad and says I should be a stay at home mom & my SO should “man up” and take care of his family. I have never once in my life said I wanted to be a stay at home mom & the agreement was no rent to help US out. Her attitude and her comments towards my SO are tearing me and my mom apart. I’ve talked to her numerous times about this but it always results in an argument. I’m at my wits end. I have no clue what to do or how to handle this situation anymore. Has anyone dealt with this before? Any advice??

Sorry it’s so long! Just had to vent as I know no one in this town & don’t really have friends.