is his drinking out of hand?

my husband and I have been together for 8 years now and we just got married in June this year. let me also just start out saying he is such a wonderful husband...aside from his drinking, and for that reason I'm not here for advice to just up and leave him when I think he needs help, we're in this problem together, I'm his wife and I'm here to help him. Okay, ever since college he has been a very irresponsible drinker. it never really bothered me until the last few years because I just feel like he's old enough and at a point in his life where he should be able to control his drinking. Everytime we go out with his friends I just automatically say yes I'm the DD cause it's his night, and when it's my friends he SAYS the same, but he always gets too drunk even after I ask him to slow down. it always leads me to to start an argument when we get home because I took an Uber home and he refused to come with and drove himself home (come to find out he usually always ends up throwing up on his way home from the drinking). his natural self has a temper, (used to break controllers of video games way back when, get pissed at stuff he's trying to fix etc.) but this increases with his drinking, and yes I usually end up starting the argument because I tell him he drank too much, but he gets verbally mean to me, name calling, put downs etc. but only when he's drunk. (for those wondering, he would NEVER hit me and I know that) I almost feel like it's his defense in denial of the fact that he may have a drinking problem. we repeat the same scenario a couple times a month and I just don't know what to do, I have asked him to get help if he doesn't want it from me but he refuses because he says he doesn't have a problem. does he? or am I being just too hard on him and need to back off to stop starting the fights? in a summary these are everything I see wrong with this. is there more? any advice on how to show him that this is a problem?

1. can't stop drinking even when he knows he's the driver

2. drinks to the point of being sick

3. drives drunk

4. is verbally abusive when drinking