SORRY ITS KINDA LONG...So i’m just wondering what y’all thoughts are on this.. I had this really good family friend, who we can call Ryan, and for a long time we were only best friends and we dated for a very short period of time before i left for college but ended it because I felt like since i was going to college 4 hours away and he had a house already and was established i would miss out on experiences. we had never slept together. I transferred to a school close to home after the first semester (it’s been two years since i’ve come back home) and we have not dated but it’s obvious feelings are still there though we remained only friends. we’ve dated other people and recently when i split from the guy i was dating and he posted another girl on social media I was super upset and got really drunk and it’s not uncommon for Ryan and i to hangout, he was my BEST friend, i went to his house and i didn’t have a ride home after i had been drinking and he didn’t want to have to get back on the road to bring me home (he was completely sober, he did not drink at all) so I stayed the night.....WELL the last thing i remember clearly is trying to go inside after i went see his prego goat and then i woke up in the middle of the night still tipsy in his bed with only a bra on and i asked him to go get my phone and i texted another friend freaking out but then fell back asleep and woke up early the next morning and he said i couldn’t leave until i took plan B, so i’m assuming he didn’t use protection. he brought me home and I told him to never tell anyone and then two days after he texted me saying he was nextdoor and he brought pizza if i wanted some so i told him i still only wanted to be friends that the other night was a mistake and he apologized and said he could have stopped it and he knows it shouldn’t have happened and that i started it. i believe him that i probably got things started but i can’t help but feel kind of hurt that he would do anything while i was that drunk bc i didn’t remember right away but i’m able to remember bits and pieces like i remember him pounding into me but then i like blacked out again and i remember his dick in my mouth but i wasn’t sucking it..surely he could tell how drunk i was huh? and idk how to feel bc i’m hurt that he’d do anything at all with my while i was that drunk because i would never do anything with him if he was drunk and i was sober. but at the same time i started it and we have been having feelings for each other for years otherwise..thoughts?