Just need to let it all out..

I had a doctors apt with a fertility clinic on Monday, this will make the second fertility doctor I've been to. I didn't want to go to this one at all. I had already been to one and he told me I had some cyst but did not do any test other than a vaginal ultrasound so I felt silly going to another one.

I went because this particular office went to a job fair at my moms work and she told them about me, how my husband and I have been trying for what feels like forever and how I have already been to a fertility doctor but he said nothing was wrong so they got my mom to convince me to make an apt with them so they could run more test.

Anyways I had a complete and total melt down on my way to see them on Monday (it's about an hour from my house) I started praying beyond hard that I was on my way there for a reason. That it was gods will that I go, I told god that it must be because I wouldn't be headed there if it weren't.

I got there and immediately wanted to leave. It's not just a fertility clinic but also a women's health center and their were women with babies everywhere. I wanted to scream. I prayed again that god would take the envy out of my heart. I feel like I pray this a lot. I'm 27 and almost all my friends have had children or are pregnant. And i really am so very happy for them but anyone who has been trying for a long time knows sometimes it's hard and you want to cry and scream and smile and never come out of your room all at the same time.

Anyways when the doctor called me back she did another vaginal ultrasound and saw the same cyst the other doctor had seen but decided because of how big they are that they need to be taken out. So she made me an apt for the next day (Tuesday of this week) to have them taken out and to have my tubes flushed.

I went in Tuesday.

They had to do 3 incisions, they removed my ovarian cyst but couldn't flush my tubes because my tubes are too small? I have never heard of that and can't find it anywhere online. I was under anesthesia so I didn't get to ask questions and my husband (bless his heart) doesn't think to ask any and I know doctor google is not who I need to ask and I should be patient but they Also discovered I have endometriosis.

They say I should be in pain all the time with these things but I don't think I am. Unless I am and just don't know it

I feel totally crushed

I go back to them on the 16th to talk options.

If any of you ladies have ever heard of someone's tubes being to small to flush and having endometriosis, can you please share their story. Were they still able to have children?

I know I should be patient and just ask my doctor. I'm not looking for criticism so please don't comment if that's what your going to do but please everyone who reads this just say a small prayer for me and my husband.