I've been with this guy for almost 2 1/2 years now. It started in high school(19 now), he was sweet and liked to show me off to everybody. Everything was going good, about 4 months into the relationship he started getting very controlling, telling me I couldn't talk to friends, telling me not to talk to my mom( I've always been very close to her), telling me we had to get pregnant asap. I started to take a little bit of space from him, I went to another school for a while, hung out with old friends, tried to be a teenager i guess, which led to 2 of my so called guy friends raping me. I took a long time to tell anyone, when I told the BF he was mad. not at them, at me. he still to this day makes me feel like it's my fault. we got close again after that, things were good for a while then his mom got involved. She didn't like me from day 1, she called me a whore, and said I'm not good enough for her son, he let her say those things and still does. she kicked him out because he didn't want to break up with me, so he is currently living with me and my parents( I have severe health issues they're helping me get on my feet). Now to current time, he constantly makes me feel likeI'm not good enough, he's gotten both verbally and physically abusive with me( he had been in the past just more so now) . I recently started talking to a friend again that I've known since I was 12, weve always had a huge connection with eachother, we were always close, but he moved 4 years ago and lives in a different state. As much as i shouldnt ive always had feelings for him and after a few years were talking again but it's strictly texting. So it's not like I'm around him. But now ever since I started talking to my friend he's(Bf) hit me several times, he goes through all my stuff, including my bedroom. He doesn't let me have any friends be male or female. He constantly yells at me, I honestly don't remember the last time I felt loved/safe/happy with him. He knows that I've talked to my friend about me being stressed and struggling, and he freaks out worse. I'm not going to lie, my friend is the only one i feel safe talking to or even happy with. I feel bad, I love my Bf now, I want to think he feels threatened or something, but he's been like this since about 5 months into the relationship. I'm tired of being walked all over and not being able to be happy. I just don't know what to do anymore. I miss the old me the happy me. it makes me sad to think about not being with him, but I've tried talking, ive tried everything. he just doesn't care. Im so lost.