Fair warning: this is going to be long !

So, my friend is married and has two children of her own and a 17 year old stepson.

She and her husband have full custody of the 17 y/o because his biological mom never took care of him. She didn’t make him go to school when he was younger so he fell very far behind. She didn’t buy him the things that he needed and she was on drugs for a while.

He still sees his biological mom and it has been nothing but drama. She wants to be his friend and not his mother so of course he prefers to go to her house.

Recently the 17 y/o totaled their car in a head on collision. He was not paying attention and lost control. He also admitted to his dad and my friend that his mom has been letting his 18 y/o girlfriend stay the night and that they are having sex.

My friend is obviously very concerned for her stepson’s future but feels like she has no control. She knows that if she tells him he can’t go to his Mom’s anymore, there’s going to be a fight and the minute he turns 18 he’s going to move out and go stay with his mom.

However, she worries that he’s going to get his girlfriend pregnant or pick up drugs or drinking at his mom’s.

It’s further complicated by the fact that he now has no car or license (it was suspended due to the wreck) and he goes to school here...it’s an alternative school (like a trade school) and she knows he won’t go to college (he’s made that clear) so if he doesn’t finish, he will not have many, if any, options for his future.

She feels like she’s fighting a losing battle and that either way she’s going to lose him and he’s going to mess up big time.

If you were me (her best friend) what would you tell her to do? What advice would you give? I’m at a loss and just want to help her !