Can I bring this up?

Question

I was putting something away of my boyfriends and found an old note and some bracelets that were his ex girlfriends. I know that he has been in a past relationship. But it's the fact that he kept these things that's bothers me. He still has a bunch of heresys kisses from Valentine's Day she got him, there used to be stuff hanging from the ceiling, and other stuff from her. A lot of that stuff is gone now. Is it unreasonable to ask why he has it? 
Yesterday I found a pair of underwear in his room that were supposedly his roommates girlfriend and we talked about that. I don't like a lot of confrontation/drama and I feel like I have been bringing up a lot of stuff lately. Just a couple weeks ago we talked about porn. Am I being unreasonable to ask why he still has them? I also want to ask if a pair of pink socks I had found behind the couch are hers after we were dating for a couple months. Am I wrong to have a problem with this? I don't have anything from my past relationship.
*to be clear I am not asking him to get rid of anything. I just want to know why he has it. For me, the past is the past and I don't need notes or mementos to look back on.

Answer

I think it’s a bit unreasonable to ask him to get rid of stuff from an old relationship. I still have shoe boxes with memories from my prior relationships and I’ve been married a year and with my husband for nearly six years now. It’s in the past and it’s a part of his life that happened, to me those tokens were memories and I didn’t want to get rid of them as though they meant nothing at the time. 
If he had a shrine to her that would be one thing, but I wouldn’t overthink little tokens like that.

Answer

Its Not inappropriate.  He’s no longer in a relationship with her and I’m sure he would find it weird if you kept things. They are good memories from a happy time but they are ex’s for a reason. I’d be a little sad if my husband felt the need to keep those things. If he wants to keep them or doesn’t really have a good explanation then I’d be thinking. Did you ever confirm that those underwear were his rm girlfriends? It’s an easy excuse. His behaviour just makes me nervous for you

Answer

I keep sweet things from ex’s. I mean, yeah the past is in the past. But sometimes when I’ve been really down and between relationships... just seeing that stuff has helped me know that I’m worthwhile and eventually will find the guy, since I’ve had people who used to care for me. 
In my current relationship, I really think he is the one. So I’m slowly getting rid of things. But they just mean something, so I still keep some things.

Answer

I don't think you should ask why he has them. I think you should just give the stuff to him as you find it, because it sounds like he was just lazy and didn't take stuff down or clean up as much as he should have, and ask him to keep those things somewhere away from you because it makes you feel uncomfortable. I think that's fair now that youre living together. But what do you expect his answer to be if you ask him: but why do you still have them? Do you really want to know? He's with you now. And even asking why he has them is pressuring him to get rid of them like there's something wrong with him wanting to keep them. Just ask him to keep it separate from you so you don't have to see it.

Answer

You should feel free to ask him about the keepsakes, but not to get rid of them. Yes, the past is over with, but it is his past that has made him into the man you love. It's natural to want to hold onto little things that remind you of good times, whether they are completely over with or not.

Answer

well I still have stuff from exes, either because I just like it as an item or because it's jewelery and I can't really just throw it away. My most recent bf (now ex) had a bit of a problem with it but I explained it no longer meant anything emotional to me and most of it was stored out of sight anyway. The random items of clothing are a little more odd. Could they genuinely belong to his room mates gf or does he act a little suspicious when you discover them? Why were they in his room? If I were you I'd bring it up with him otherwise you'll just keep worrying about it and it could build up frustration. good luck!

Can I bring this up?

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