I'm quite still confused if I was raped or if it was just totally my fault.

I had my first boyfriend at 14 (who was my first love and I though he'd be my husband), months went by and things were going good, he really made me happy but I told him that I was not ready to have sex and he seemed okay with it.

One day while we were chilling it got to a point where he unzipped my jeans...it felt uncomfortable so I told I'm no. He did not listen, he continued till he was inside me and still I begged him to stop but he didn't... I felt numb and cried through it all while he finished.

I later realized that I lost my viginity and was going to be a mother. I sometimes struggle to show my daughter affection, it worries me.

11years down the line, I still feel like it's my fault. Was I raped or is it all in my head?