I can’t post this anywhere else. My husband and I have experienced four losses already. With each loss I lose a part of me. They are my babies from the moment we conceive. The first loss I hemorrhaged and almost went into cardiac arrest. Our third loss I had a DNC and they didn’t give me any meds so I was fully aware of every scrape they did. The fourth loss was ectopic so I had to chose how to terminate because my husband was at work.

It hasn’t been an easy journey but we haven’t lost hope. I stopped taking the hormones and treatment because they were too much and it was just to enhance not to actually treat anything. Btw if I haven’t mentioned it we have done all the tests and there is nothing preventing a healthy pregnancy.

AF was due on the 17 but of course I couldn’t wait and I tested today. We got a BFP!!!! I’m so excited for our rainbow baby but I’m also so scared. I don’t even know how to feel.

I’m sorry about the rant. I just can’t go anywhere else and I know so many of you are going or have gone through worse or your own experiences of loss and pregnancies so you understand.

The second picture is the tattoo I got to honor and always remember my four first babies. First of course is hopefully the first sign of my rainbow baby. Pretty strong line for 10DPO