Do you have the right to know about your significant others past exes?

Question

And I don't mean just dating. I mean anyone they have sexually been with. My boyfriend really doesn't want to talk about it because he says "it makes them significant when they really aren't anymore". Asking my mom for advice and she says "its in the past and none of [my] business".
But a friend of his tonight was telling me about some of his hookups that I had already asked about and he might've lied about having. (I have a horrible memory.)
So do you think it's invasive to ask your significant other about their past exes and even one night stands/any sexual encounter?
And just a preface: I do trust him, but because of my shitty memory I am now really curious what he has to say about certain exes/hookups. Plus deep down I feel like it's important to know. :/

Answer

I'm not sure how long you've been together, but that can play a huge role in opening up about a past. I know when my husband and I got together we were honest about being sexually active before each other, how many sexual partners we have had, and if we were safe with those people. On the other hand we knew the names of some of each other's ex's, but neither of us really cared to talk about each person individually or how things went with those people.... I think it's more of a jealousy thing or worrisome thing when people first get together. Now that I'm married and we've been together for some time now, we have talked about a lot of our past together and joke about a lot of things sexually... Eventually you just get to that "this person is my person and always will be" stage and there will be nothing that you can't talk to them about. My advice is know the important need to know things right now, and with some time-when he is ready he will open up more.

Answer

I think that you have a right to know if he was sexually active with them and if they were safe. But you have to be able to tell him about yours.

Answer

My boyfriend and I know A LOT about each other's exes. It doesn't mean we're still attached to them or anything, but I'm 23  He's 21. We've both been with other people in the past. We've been in committed relationships with other people. It's the way life works. We've always been very open and honest with each other about that including the sexual stuff. He's even friends still with one of his exes. They haven't been together for 2 years, she's with someone else now, my boyfriend is obviously with me, and them being friends doesn't bother me. I think it's important to know where we have come from. Every one of his past relationships ended because he was cheated on, so he has some trust issues. I've come from a very mentally abusive relationship prior to him that I am still trying to recover from. Stuff like that is important for your partner to know.

Answer

if you both are okay with talking about it, cool. but if he doesnt want to, thats his business and is entitled to privacy

Answer

I don't think you guys should have a full on convo about it but you do need to know if he's been with many women and if there's a possibility he could have an STD and should be tested.

Answer

No I don’t think so. It depends on how you ask too. I knew everything about my husband since we were best friends before dating. He knew how terrible my ex was in bed I use to complain to him. I also knew about his ex who won’t have sex after once. However we do ask in a joking way even after marriage. My husband knees what experiences I had with each partner. My husband is not the type who usually shares but by sharing my experiences first he feels more comfortable. You can try to share yours first and ask if he has ever tried ____

Answer

you could try asking in a "fun" way, like what was your worst sexual experience? the most awkward? the most... blah blah blah 😂 my fiance and I have talked a little about previous sex but only in certain ways I guess 🤷 like I don't need or want to know or even think about what position he nailed his ex in when she got knocked up and what her fav way is blah blah blah. long story but I despise her and I don't need anymore reasons to want to punch her 🤷😂 so don't get too into it but a little fun questions here and there are fine :) 
also, like how did you lose your V card, what was the strangest thing someones tried to do to you or strangest thing they have tried to get you to do 😂 those can get pretty funny

Answer

I think you have a right to know if he was sexually active before you but there's no reason to bring in exs into your relationship. My husband and I don't ever talk about exs we don't even know each other's body count. It doesn't matter anymore. He's mine I'm his.

Do you have the right to know about your significant others past exes?

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