Not lovable

Sometimes I'm sad. I've never gotten the love that other people seem to have. Even from family. My mom and dad fought constantly until the age of 7. After that they got divorced, my dad became neglectful and abusive. My mom became controlling, invasive (in my life), and prone to angry outbursts (throwing books and things at me). My mom remarried when I was 8 and my step dad would sexually assault me (no penetration). When I was 16 my mom kicked me out of the house multiple times. One of those times resulted in me being raped by a friend. My ex boyfriend became abusive 6 months after the relationship began. I was with him for almost 4 years (I couldn't leave physically) and was beaten every day for 3 years. Tortured.

Now, I'm not family oriented at all. I just sometimes hear songs with dads talking about how their baby girl is the best thing that ever happened to them or their SO's love them so much they couldn't live without them. It makes me sad. What makes me so unlovable? Why has my life been one big shit show? Why is everyone else so lucky?