not so good birthday

Yesterday was my birthday, the day before was my husband's we were supposed to celebrate together on his but it ended up being mainly about him. Yesterday we got to go out to eat and thay was it he went and helped some friends move for the rest of my birthday. I'm used to my birthdays sucking but every year I hope it will be different and it never seems to be. if it's not just a blah type of day, it's something extremely bad, 3 years ago I spent my birthday at my mom's hospital bed. she had a brain tumor, and she scared me and I thought she was going to die on my birthday. We lost her 7 days after my birthday. Our friends weren't apologetic at all knowing it was my birthday. and now I just can't shake this funk I have sank into. I just don't feel very important. Sorry I didn't know where else to post.