The sickest children’s book ever.
Okay so I’m sitting here minding my own business when my 6 year old comes over with a book and asks me to read it. So I do that parent thing where you say sure but what you really mean is “why don’t you take your small ass to a quiet place and read it to yourself after you’ve harassed me all damn day.” 
So anyway she hands me this book. 
I think to myself how disturbing the front cover is...
It’s also written by a “dick.” To us this means very little but to my well read 6 year old it’s the end of the world. She’s laughing hysterically at the word and is now repeating it like a mantra over and over again...
I silence her and begin reading not knowing what I’m letting myself in for... 
Wait.. what? Grandma died? GRANDMA? This is beyond sick, why couldn’t it have been some next door neighbour or extended family? Okay so grandma died, I look at my 6 year old and she’s looking at me like 🤓 waiting for me to carry on.
This is the sickest most saddest shit I’ve ever read. This is a children’s book for Pete’s sake... Grandma isn’t moving or breathing anymore, not only has this dick killed grandma off he’s now going into detail about it! But wait..
Grandpa is still alive and instead of grandma going to heaven and grandpa waiting for her, grandpa is left on earth heartbroken and this miffy kid has not only seen dead grandma, she’s now got to see Grandpa crying too!
Okay well at least grandma got a pretty coffin right? I suppose that’s one good thing. At least dick didn’t just dig a hole in the garden for grandma rabbit.
More people crying? Nice.. Now my six year old is quiet and I begin to wonder where the hell this book came from.
R.I.P Grandma 👵
I’m crying. 😢 She’s having a burial in the wood.
Is this Grandmas son? He has a look of her don’t you think? Same tash. Maybe dick will wright a book about his death next.
So not only am I in bits now but he’s deprived us of actually knowing who grandma was. I think the least he could have done was let us know what was written on the grave.
...
God love miffy, she’s been through a traumatic experience and she still makes sure grandma’s grave is pretty. This is to much.
The book is over.. I’m sat here wiping away my tears. My six year old is looking at me like.. 😕 The funniness is gone. Dick has well and truly ruined the day.
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