I'm not terribly sure if this is considered controversial but it could be seen that way. I apologise if people think it isn't and I can try to move it to another room. I just know we have people on both sides of the spanking fence here. I am a behavioral analyst so I feel like this situation is so obvious to me. But, I would like to get other opinions on what you would do or if I'm over thinking it. My fiance (we live together) has a 4 year old son from his previous marriage and he has him every other weekend. Neither of us believe in spanking for my son as well as him, and we use a lot of punishments involving simple tangibles or by communicating about the problem. His mother is known to not quite be the brightest parent and has admitted to spanking him before, however we addressed it and thought it stopped. We also didn't assume it was extreme. Tonight, we were in the store (myself, my fiance, and the child) and I realized the child had his shorts on backwards. I laughed and thought it was funny and wanted to catch a picture. Mind you, the child was in a fantastic happy-go-lucky mood. I was laughing and said "turn around" and guided him on his shoulder but he got timid and kept facing me, rather than facing his back to me. I was getting a little irritated and while still laughing I was like, "Buddy just turn around." And he had a MELT DOWN. He was terrified. It wasn't an angry cry, it was a scared cry. He was shaking and trying to hide. My fiance and I were ridiculously confused and kind of looked at each other with a "wtf" face. My fiance asked if he thought we were trying to spank him. He said "Yes. Mommy spanks me all the time." Of course my fiance and I were absolutely in shock. We let it go and as we were walking out, he told the child, "We don't spank in daddy's house." And the child said, "Spank?" And had another instant meltdown. As someone who studies behavior, I could go on and on about how concerning this is. But I'm looking at it from a standpoint of someone who doesn't believe in spanking and well as mixing in emotions. Thoughts?