what’ll I do now?

We were like fuck bodies or fuck bodies with a blackmail. At first I wanted too. Sometimes I missed him. I thought he loved me or we were fine. Than he wanted to come my house. He said he had nowhere to go. Ok then, come I said. We slept together we had (anal) sex. I was afraid to have vaginal sex. Then last night he wanted to come again. I said no. My roommate was home and I was feeling a little bit sick. He said if I keep saying no he will come to my apartment, make a scene and my friend and all my neighbors will find out what’s happening. I was afraid but I said no. He came. I had to open door. And I did. He said if he fucks me and I suck his dick he will keep quite. I begged him not to. Even I cried. He didn’t stop. I couldn’t scream I just cried. I felt so cheap so miserable. He sat on me and made me give him a handjob. He cum all of my body. I was still crying. He cleaned up and said I’m not here for your crying. I want you and you know you want me. Dont have problems with me. He was drunk. Then he left. I even thought about suicide. What if he tells about all to our friends my family and other... I’m so scared. I cant get rid of him. I’m gonna lose my mind. I mean this is it. He raped me...