**RANT**

Ugh.... Just found out an ex-coworker whom already has one kid that basically stole another woman's husband is now pregnant by him. My cousin who was only with this guy for 2 months got pregnant within a month of being with him. She doesn't have a job & still lives at home with her parents, she'll be enjoying a first Christmas as a mommy this year & wouldn't you know, she had her baby Feb 26the which happens to be the exact day between mine & hubby's birthdays as his is Feb 25th& mine is Feb 27th. Another cousin on my husband's side has just had her 3rd, also has no job & lives in a filthy home. My husband's ex has had 3 kids since they ended it by different dads. A couple of my own exes have had babies since we ended it. All of my old school friends have families, some of them even bringing in their 3rd & 4th babies & people all around me are pregnant.... I had a pregnant instructor last semester as well. I'm just fed up.... ITS NOT FAIR! I have been in a faithful marriage for over 5yrs & ttc over 4yrs. We both work & I'm even going to school but yet all these cheaters & lazy slobs can get pregnant at the drop of a hat! I FREAKING HATE THIS!!! My heart is slowly crumbling into a million tiny pieces & all I can think is "why God, why not us?", "why am I not worthy of having a baby?", "what have I done to deserve this?" I'm angry & sad & then ashamed at the same time but I can't help it..... & I feel these things not only for myself but for all of you ladies too.... Feeling very defeated.....