My parents are monsters... They're the reason for all my depression and anxiety being so bad. I rather disappear. All they do is knock me down. And wonder why I'm in a mood. They don't care what they say or do to me. I hate living with them so much. I don't want to talk to them. I don't want to be around them. Like God forbid something happens to them. I love them but I just can't stay here. I can't leave yet. I'm stuck here. I won't get to leave till like April because my husband is deployed. He told me to tough it out. I wanted to find a small apartment so I can get away from them and be okay till he comes home. But he wants to save money. My husband is the reason I'm still alive. The reason why I haven't done something bad to myself... Nothing is ever good for my parents. I find a job? They won't let me work there. I want to go back to school? They don't want me to and tells me that I'm better off working because "school is expensive". I want to go out just for a little bit, maybe to get food or just get fresh air? They throw a fit. But when I'm in the house all day? They tell me I'm stupid and lazy. They tell me I'm worthless. They tell me I shouldn't have been born. My depression and anxiety is so bad that it's hard to function. I don't have any place to live besides here. I'm stuck and all I can do is suffer.

I don't know what to do. I want to disappear.