So I finally had that confrontation with my mother in law about her coming over too often. Her coming over was just TOOOOO much for me mentally. I needed a break. I respect this woman as she has done a lot for me and my family ( taking care of our son too by taking him to soccer practice twice a week) but holy moly, can we set some normal boundaries please? For the past 3 months She was coming over 5x a week and stayed for 5-6 hours a day and slept over once a week for the past two weeks. At first I said things like oh you don't need to come over so often, you should go home and rest. It didn't work. I asked my husband to talk to her. Didn't work either. It came down to my her texting my husband in the morning one day asking if she should come over to which he replied to no. Her response was well I'll come over anyway since you have school (he's doing his MBA twice a week). His response was ok text Anna (me) to see if she needs you today and she said "for what?". Ugh!!! That right there was the final straw for me. I just took that as an insult. I've asked her multiple times to reach out to me before she came by so I can politely tell her it's okay, I got things under control at home. Anyway, we got into it, and I told her bluntly I would like to have a bit of distance and to spend some time on my own at home with my kids (6 and 3 months). She ended up leaving the house and about 5 min latwr I got a text from my father in law telling me and my husband that we're basically horrible people and that we have no right treating someone who has done so much for us. I admit, she has done a lot of us but does that mean you get to walk over us and do as you like? All I'm asking is for some personal space! Anyway, I have a hella lot of anxiety now as I had to see her twice now after this little spat between us. Was I wrong to "put my foot down"? I feel guilty AF and the father in laws message made me feel like real SHIT. I never had to deal with a situation like this with them. And at the end of the day she's only coming over one day less so it's like was all this really worth it? 😑😑😑 😓😭

Update- first off, thank you guys for reassuring me. It's silly to say since we don't know each other but it made me feel more confident about the entire situation. So we all had a sit down meeting and I got to voice my thoughts and feelings on drawing boundaries. I was so so so nervous and uncomfortable as this was a first for me with my in laws (married 7 years) and Bec I decided I was going to be the first one to start talking. But I had an amazing husband who stood by me and helped me explain and clarify my words (their native language is not my primary language so translation is not always on point). I also feel like the bigger person because I apologized for upsetting my mother in law but then reiterated why I said those things and firmly said that it's what I want. My father in law didn't apologize for the text he sent, he simply said he was pissed off which is why he sent it. Whatever🤷🏼‍♀️. At least he thanked me for explaining how I felt about the situation. There were a few things we didn't see eye to eye but they are willing to comprise (mostly my father in law) and so am I. There were also moments where I felt like my mother in law was being insincere about a few things but I honestly don't care. As long as we can all be respectful to each other and respect each other's wishes. To those who are going through the same thing with in laws or any relatives, a sit down is really best! Difficult to do for those soft spoken people but it feels great afterwards☺️