I need some advice. I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now, but I’m questioning everything suddenly. I apologize for the length.

Some backstory, I was in a 6 year relationship, three years of which I was married to a man who mentally and emotionally abused me. I was lied to the entire relationship and it ended in divorce when he finally, after breaking my self esteem, confidence, etc, told me he was gay. This is the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, have children with, do all the typical “married” people things with, but he kept putting me off because he wasn’t living his own authentic life and couldn’t man up and tell me until I grew the balls to threaten to leave.

So, we separate and soon after I meet my current boyfriend, whom I truly believe is my soulmate, the other half of my red string. He stayed by my side through the divorce, having to sell my dream house, and having to figure out how to live independently without having my ex husband throw money at me, instead of actually giving a shit about me. I supported him too, he got his first “real” job, bought a new truck and started having to deal with grown up expenses. He’s also a former football player and current football coach, which he loves, but it takes up a lot of his time in the Fall.

My boyfriend is five years younger than me, I’m currently 33 and I was very upfront about what I wanted out of my life because I waited too long for the person in my last relationship to change and I desperately want to be a mother and I’m so scared that time is running out for me. Recently, I’ve been looking at engagement rings and talking about weddings and children and timeframes. My boyfriend said we want the same things, but not at the same times. I’m so hurt. It feels the same way it did in my marriage, have I wasted my time again, or am I overreacting?