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Do not ever give up there is always hope!

I am writing thise of you who have loved and lost a little one regardless of how far along you were. To let you know that there is hope after loss. Do not get discouraged when some are lucky enough to get pregnant soon after but you are still waiting and hoping that the same luck will also come your way. Because it certainly did not happen to me.

I have not been active on <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android">Glow app</a> since June/July of this year after my first miscarriage in May. After the miscarriage I keep reading this very thread trying to get some comfort that I am not the only one loosing a baby in my first trimester and not getting pregnant right away or soon after.

There was an overwhelming amount of stress trying to conceive again and being asked by both my parents and in-laws about how I was and if I was pregnant every month after the miscarriage. There was even a point where my MIL almost convinced me that I may have problems and should go see a Chinese doctor.

After 5 months or so, everyone just stopped asking because my answer for each and every time they ask was "no, I am not pregnant, we didn't get pregnant this time".

These last two months I got busy at work and just stopped worrying about trying to conceive or that there may be problems with me. My hubby and I decided to book a trip to Tokyo for our first wedding anniversary and just planning the trip also took my mind away from the stress of conceiving. We just decided to let time take its course and let fate and destiny do its thing.

I still tracked when AF started and ended but my hubby and I just had fun instead of giving ourselves pressure. Also, I guess my mind was all about work and trying to physically and mentally organize myself for the crazy third quarter end at work I forgot about time. The month went by and I barely noticed before I realize that AF never came this time around and either I am having problems (because AF didn't come visit as regularly after the miscarriage; some cycles are 27, 28 or 25 when It used to be 26 days on the dot) or I am with our Rainbow Baby.

I did not notice any spotting, there have been slight cramping since over a week or two ago but I ignored it thinking that AF may be giving me signs. After being two days late (as Glow estimated a 28 day cycle for me this time) I finally made the decision to test this morning but with the mindset of the most pessimistic person.

If the tests say I am not pregnant I may really have health issues and if I am pregnant, I will test again. After my first miscarriage, I bought three different brands of tests (ClearBlue, First Response and Easy@Home). I took one test First Response and found out I am pregnant, then took a second test with Easy@Home also showing that I am pregnant. But I still did not believe myself and took a third test with ClearBlue and found out I am at 1-2 weeks. Then took a fourth test with Easy@Home as I was still in disbelief I am pregnant with my Rainbow Baby.

The four tests did not have evap lines. All of them were very clear and visible - hard lines.

6 months after the loss of my Angel, I am finally with my Rainbow.

Please do not give up no matter how discouraged you may feel when

- you are on FaceBook and notices the news feed of your friends who recently gave birth and have beautiful children now

- notice or hear that others are getting pregnant so effortlessly again and again

- notice pregnant ladies wherever you go whether you are on public transit, at shopping malls or at restaurants or even

- families with strollers wherever you go.

Do not forget to live, love, laugh and most of all have faith and hope.

Love,