So, before all the posts saying “he’s a guy, let him watch,” please make sure to read the full post!!

So my hubby and I have been TTC for 5 months now. He had some issues with watching porn previously in our marriage and his whole life as an addiction, and had gotten help. The issue comes in that he would rather watch porn than have sex with me!! It’s not something he does to get hot and then have amazing sex with me. There have been times when he has chosen to watch others have sex over actually having sex with me, when I am begging for it!! We are honest to god on our anniversary trip as I type, and I found out last night that last month, during my fertile week, he stayed up later than I did just so he could watch porn and masturbate rather than coming to bed to have sex!

So, I sit here, hurt and confused wondering if he really wants a baby with me. He has two children from a previous marriage, and they live with us full time as their mother is deceased. When I talk to him about it, he would swear he absolutely wants a child with me...but after last night, my confidence is low. In all areas, with my self-worth, personal confidence, and just everything at this point. I have decided that after my TWW this time, that I’m going to start back on my birth control until he can figure himself out.

Again, I get he’s a guy...but when he’s choosing porn over me, is that not a problem??