I know some of this is my fault. But please understand.

I love him more than anything. But he doesn’t love me the way I want to be loved. He hasn’t told me I’m beautiful or pretty or sexy or anything in over two years. Not once. We have sex maybe twice a month and it’s boring, and I have to beg him for it. I constantly give 100000% and I’m always left wondering why he doesn’t ask about my day or care why I’m upset. I’ve tried civilly bringing it up and just being light hearted about it hoping he gets it and he just makes it into an argument and never changes. Once in a while he will tell me he will try to show he cares more, and the next day it’s back to the same. I’m not that needy of a person but as a sexual assault survivor and an all around insecure person, it’s something I need. And I’m so so scared of marrying him and feeling this way all of the time. I just don’t know what to do. We have a home together. A life together. And I don’t want to leave but I deserve more.