Dead end 😞

⚠️ WARNING⚠️ THIS IS GONNA BE LONG!!!I got engaged when i was 17. And married when I graduated high school and turned 18. An arranged marriage that I wasn’t forced into. It was my choice...my decision. My parents never forced me into anything..they are the best family there is but i just wanted to get out of there and have my own life. I’ve always been independent and loved to do things on my own and depend on me and me only. Ever since i was a little kid i always said “ill marry someone who’s educated and rich and good looking” i mean that’s practically every girl’s dream..to have a man that’s the whole package. But he isn’t the whole package. He isn’t educated or good looking(he’s not hideous tho lol) just the average looking guy! When i talked to him (1 month before the engagement) i loved his personality and I’ve seen his pictures at first i said no but then i changed my mind when i talked to him. I thought “Don’t say no and lose an opportunity like this..a guy that can make you happy and you’ll be able to live on ur own get ur own house and build the family you’ve dreamed of ur whole life PLUS finish you’re education at the same time!” Him and his family live several states away from where i live. Fast forward to a few weeks after we got married. Oh and did I mention that i lost my virginity to him? Cuz im muslim and we muslims have to wait till marriage to have sex. We fell in love since we saw each other when he came to my house to propose. Or so I thought. It’s not mutual he made it seem like he loved me but he never did. A few weeks after we got married my parents went back home and him and his family started treating me like im one of their own. Awesome right?! His younger sister who is engaged and is several years older than me always tries to “give me advice” her advices were basically insulting me telling me my husband will leave me every time i do smth she doesn’t like. I never told him...only told my mom abt how she always got on my nerves and tried to make me look bad in front of her family. The first fight with him was about my family and how his family didn’t wanna include them in anything. They did not treat my family well and that caused a lot of problems before the wedding. The first fight with him ended up like this:he sided with his family against me and listened to what his mom told him. She told him that I’ve always had attitude with her when I swear to god i never did. He sided with them against me and treated me like shit. Keep in mind he promised to never make me feel sad or angry when we get married. Fight after fight after fight. It felt like he stopped loving me like before. He payed less attention to me. It felt like i was living with a brother instead of a husband. I thought it was cuz of stress from his job because his job basically got fucked up after we got married. I kept making excuses for him in my head cuz i love him. He never picked up the phone to say hi to my parents and every time i ask him why he doesn’t do that he goes”I don’t want them interfering in our life!!” Literally every other week we fight abt stupid things and he makes it worst. I apologize when ik im at wrong but he NEVER apologizes and stays mad at me for days even when i try everything in me to make him smile or laugh. Anyways...I stopped going to his family’s house cuz I never felt comfortable going there. They never made me feel like i was one of them i always felt like a stranger. Even tho I hated going there I always want to help them whenever they needed my help. I’ve always been nice to them. But i told him abt his sister in one of the fights we had. I told him how she insulted me every time she saw me and i never stood up for my self. His dumbass took me to his family’s house and told his mom what i told him WHILE I WAS THERE. He stood up for me but it made his mom HATE ME. He should’ve talked to his sister and stopped her but like i said. He’s dumb. Ever since he told his mom she never looked at me or called me or anything. I stopped going there and after two weeks of not good his mom called me cursing at me insulting me all kinds of insults and telling me how my mama didn’t raise me right. Called me names and i never talked back. But when she insulted HIM I defended him and that made her even more pissed. Him and i were making out when she called and INSTANTLY he got away from me. He called his mom and hung up and then he goes “its ur fault for not going u always make problems u hate them and they never did anything to harm u go apologize...oh and don’t EVER step out of line w my mom” that had my jaw drop to the floor. I started shaking and passed out because i had an instant breakdown at how much i was getting bullied. When i woke up i called my dad and told him everything and we all had a screaming match i was hyperventilating the whole time. I slept for only two hours that night and he left and didn’t come back till the next day. What he told me made me lose all hope in our marriage he goes “here reserve a ticket and go to ur family’s house i need a break from u and same with u. Oh and here’s the marriage license in case u wanna divorce” i packed and got a ticket for the next day all the while i was shaking like crazy and ended up passing out again. And he wasn’t home. I woke up with a bruise all over my back cuz i fell on the corner of the stove when i passed out. I called him in the evening and he was at his family’s. I told him to get his best friend and to come over because i wanted to solve this problem. I ended up apologizing to his WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY for something I didn’t do. I stepped over my dignity to make him love me. Ik it’s stupid of me and that made me seem like a pussy but it SHIWED THEM HOW IM RAISED! It proved to them that my mama raised me right. When we went home and to sleep he started touching me leading to sex. Next day he told me not to go and I almost didn’t go. I told my mom that everything is good now. My dad called and he was. PISSED after yelling at me for allowing them to humiliate me by apologizing to them i...yet again fucking had a breakdown leading in my heart to stop for a few seconds. I woke up and tried to commit suicide but he stopped me. Ten minutes later I decided to go to my family. Now im here and its been five days since i came here and i blocked him cuz his mom told me that she will “replace me with another wife for him if i stopped going to their house” when i asked him if he would listen to her he never answered me. So that’s where my decision to block him came from. My parents and i talked and I decided that im not going back to that hell hole and when he comes to my state to see why I didn’t go back i will tell him that he either moves to my state or im not going back w him. But if he moves to my state he won’t change he’ll still be the same mama’s boy w no personality. What do i do??! Please help me everytime i think of a happy future with him i end up w a dead end and not a good dead end 😞😞