I just found out that my cousin is having twins. I should be happy for her, but she's very young and the father is a guy she has been dating less than 3 months so I worry for her future. Yet, that isn't why I'm upset. I'm upset because she is having accidental twins when a few months ago I was looking at ways to increase chances of twins. I'm jealous because she is having two babie, while I have been trying for almost a year and have had 2 more miscarriages in that time. I'm depressed because I recently found out that my husband has been lying about something so important and devastating that we may be separating after 7 years together. I'm jealous because while her family is blossoming, my dreams of having another child has been crushed. my family and life as I know it is falling apart in every direction, and she's getting exactly what I was hoping for.

I know I'm being selfish. Tomorrow I want to try to retrain my thoughts to focus on her, but tonight I'm just miserable and I just wanted to get it out of my head. Thank you for reading my vent.