When I got home from work yesterday (Halloween) my husband asked if we could have just 5 minutes of quiet cuddle time. I love cuddling but it was super weird for him so I was immediately concerned but told him of course.

While we were curled up together he admitted it had been a really hard day because on his drive to work the podcast he listened to talked about miscarriage from the Partner’s perspective, and it hit home. He ugly-cried and had to pull over to finish listening to the episode and was late to work because he had to get rid of the blotchy face and tear streaks.

I was so taken aback. The day my miscarriage happened, we cried together and were clingy and I feel like we became much closer, but as the months went by, he never said anything about our lost baby and I felt weird that I thought about it so relatively often. I felt like he was over it and I was just beating a figurative dead horse.

It was so sad but made me feel so much better to hear that he had breakdown moments, too.

What made it more odd was that earlier that morning, I had suddenly randomly recalled that it was Dia de los muertos and absently thought about creating an ofrenda for our baby, including some of the clothes and things we had bought for them and a few marigolds from my garden. I sent my husband a text about it not two hours after he had his breakdown, without knowing.

It made us laugh a little and think that perhaps our little angel did visit us during the holiday to remind us that it is something we should go through together, rather than individually.