When do you give up?

Question

I am really really struggling. I am going through yet another chemical pregnancy, this time after our first cycle of IUI. In the past two and a half years I have had one miscarriage at 8 weeks after seeing a heartbeat, followed by one chemical, one possible ectopic that was treated with methotrexate, followed by 2 clomid cycle chemicals, and now this. 6 positive pregnancy tests and 6 broken hearts. My RE seems confident that we will one day bring home a baby, but how do I know that they are being truthful and not just making a grab for money? I am so broken after so much loss. At what point are you supposed to just give up? I know it would be a long long time before we could afford adoption since we have been told it comes with a $20k-$50k price tag. All I want is to give my husband the family he deserves 😔

Answer

I don't have good advice but I want to say that I understand your dilemma. We have been trying for 3 years with unexplained infertility. We said we'd never do fertility treatments and now we're trying to figure out what happens next after 4 failed IUIs. It's heartbreaking to keep trying and to keep being disappointed.
Only you and your husband know what will be best for you. It's so frustrating not to know whether something will work when it is emotional and expensive. I share your concern, are the doctors encouraging because they think the next step will work or because they get paid either way??
I send you hugs. It's not about knowing when to give up - it's about knowing when to move on.

Answer

I'm not sure what to say, other than you must be so strong and brave to go through all this! Only you will know when it's time to stop, no one else should make that decision for you. I only hope I have half your courage going forward! xx

Answer

I'm sorry you're struggling.  I too have had 5 miscarriages the first one at 9 weeks after we saw the heart beat.  the second was a blighted ovum the last three were chemicals.  my heart is broken but I can't give up I keep telling myself that it will happen next time. its affected my mental health big time. I'm so depressed and it hurts more then anyone can even imagine.   we just did our first iui Oct 25 so we're praying this is it.  not feeling to hopeful at this point.  but I Can say for myself I'm not ready to give up.  I'm gonna try anything possible that will help us in this journey.  NY next step if this doesn't work is to have medicine to produce more then egg as I'm only ever producing.one egg on my left side.  so I was told I could be given hormones to produce more eggs. so I will do that with iui next and if that doesn't work then I'm moving on to ivf and just hope and pray that it will happen when god says so. my best friend had infertility for 10 years wirh multiple failed iui's and they decided to  do ivf and got pregnant the first try and had a beautiful baby boy.  so I can't tell you when to give up thats up to you. but I will tell you to not give up hope keep faith that when its the perfect time it will happen.  so please don't give up just yet. 💖

Answer

I don’t know when to give up, I probably should have stopped trying by now, but here I am in the midst of another round.  It’s such a personal decision. I truly thought after the last failed cycle I was done. And then time went on and I really wanted one more try. I don’t feel “done” but then I don’t think we’ll ever feel “done” without bringing that baby home. I wish I had some good advice for you. 
Does you Dr seem realistic? Mine is very straightforward. He called me yesterday and said my numbers don’t look good, he isn’t optimistic, but we can try if I want to. See, a rational person would probably hear that and decide not to proceed... but what I heard was “well there’s a tiny chance it might work...”. If your Dr isn’t  candid with you about issues/percentages of likely success etc, I’d seek out a 2nd opinion.

Answer

I don't have experience with this, but I know that I've read the stories of couples who struggle. Here is what I have learned: 1. You feel like giving up after every unsuccessful attempt, because the heart break is immense. But, there is something to be said of the power of hope. If you feel that you can't financially handle the treatments anymore, I've read about many couples that put their struggles into God's hands. 2. I've read a lot of stories about women going to REs for years, being offered all sorts of expensive treatment options, and wisely asking what the chances of success are. They are shocked to learn that many times the chances are slim to none, and yet they've been offered the treatments anyway. Some who can afford it go ahead because of that powerful hope that they have,  and some opt to not continue with treatments because they can't afford it. It is such an intimate decision to make with your SO. 3. My heart breaks for you, but I don't want you to feel like you are failing at something. Or that YOU are keeping your husband from having a family. I pray that you can have peace, and not think any of those awful thoughts. 4. One last thing...I know it is a very touchy subject, but have you spoken with your husband about surrogacy?

Answer

I am so sorry for your losses. I myself have gone though 6 losses in the past three years of Ttc a second child. I had an etopic and lost my tube followed by two miscarriages with DNC's followed by two chemical pregnancies and then a suspected eptopic with methotrexate shotWe have done literally everything you can try.  Toning is wrong with either of us. I really don't know what I can say other then you have to look at the positive in all the things in your life and stay supportive of you and your husband because he's probably struggling to.have you tried acupuncture or any cleanses or diet change your vitamins? I'm recently looking into trying the stork

Answer

Bump. Anybody out there? 😢

Answer

Bump. I could really use some advice 😕.

When do you give up?

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