Oh mommas... my heart hurts.

I’m a fresh FTM, my son is 6 weeks old and my heart aches because ALL I want is to leave my job and raise my son.

My husband, however, tells me I can’t quit, it’s not an option, and the only option is to keep working.

Now I understand we have to pay for things, I’m not an idiot. But I also understand we can cut things down and cancel some things to make it easier. He won’t even consider the idea and says “When we first got married, I said I didn’t want you to be a stay at home mom and you said that too.” (AKA my 2 years ago and no baby self) It makes me feel as if I’m under his thumb and he’s not happy with who I am now post-baby.

I don’t know, I needed to vent. My heart hurts and I just cry and cry because I have no desire for a career as anything other than a full time mom. My parents are going to be his “daycare” when I eventually go back in 3 weeks, but I’ve even told them, I love them but it’s my job to raise my son, not theirs. I don’t want him with them all the time and they couldn’t agree more.

This momma just needs some prayers. I’m having the hardest time and it’s leading to me being very resentful of my husband. 💔