My son was due on November 12th, but I had him on the 3rd at 7 pounds and 19 1/4 inches. At 38 weeks and 5 days I decided to try castor oil based on a reliable midwife's suggestion. I had a very difficult pregnancy the entire time and I figured I would try some random " natural jump starters " to make me more dilated and effaced for whenever baby boy was ready. I was losing pieces of my mucus plug and experiencing bouts of early labor for weeks without it progressing. She told me don't overdue it and if the 2oz doesn't work, leave it alone and try something else. I figured if baby was ready it would jump start labor and if it didn't work then at least I'd have a great bowel movement that I was desperately in need of (pregnancy constipation really sucks ) . I started having regular contractions at 8-10 minute intervals around 6pm. My best friend came running over and made me drink chamomile tea like it was my job to ensure that labor didn't go away (something her boss told her worked). I drank 5 cups of tea every 30 mins. (I swear I'm never drinking that tea again.) Anyway, contractions picked up considerably fast and I was at every 3 minutes for 2 hours long with minute long contractions by 9pm. Obviously being a first time mom, I thought there is no way this is the real deal, it was just way too fast and I didn't expect it to work AT ALL. I called my doctor because I live 45 minutes away from my hospital and she said "sounds like you should head over now!" I couldn't believe it. I'm like "really??? Well ok!" So I waited for provision for my siblings and made sure my boyfriend, mom, and friend came to the hospital with me. My contractions picked up to every minute for 30-50 seconds while sitting (more like squatting/kneeling/side-laying) in the car. My contractions weren't unbearable but they definitely rose in intensity from when I was bouncing on the yoga ball in my house contemplating calling my doctor. Answering front desk questions while you are contracting are created the devil, by the way. So when I finally get into triage they ask me if I want an epidural and I immediately said no... I planned on having an all natural, unmedicated birth.. which I still would recommend to people (from a doulas perspective- it's just so beautiful and empowering, definitely worth a try!!). My mom never contracted with me past a one, even after her water broke and her doctor used pitocin to start progression. She had a total of 3 c-sections because her body just didn't contract. I didn't really believe it was impossible for a woman to not be able to progress at all and I kind of assumed she was being dramatic- believe me I apologized after this experience. So after these consistent contractions that lasted since 6pm and grew in intensity, I believed I'd be a decent amount dilated by 11:30 (time I arrived at the hospital) but no I was at a one. I was told to walk around the hospital for two hours then I would be admitted because my contractions were very strong and the nurses believed I'd progress quickly after a walk. So I return in an hour and a half because I was basically licking the lobby carpet in pain and my contractions were now overlapping. They check me and I am STILL AT ONE CM 50% effected.. Boy was I devastated. I was in excruciating pain and felt like it was a waste that I even headed to the hospital. At this point, I'm undressed in the bathroom with the gown in my hand and shivering from the intensity of contractions, not to mention diarrhea pooping and sweating like a fiend. I sit back in the triage chair as they monitor the baby and I begin puking up everything I've ate for about 10 minutes straight. I was miserable to say the least and the nurses said they were in disbelief because my contractions were going crazy on the screen and based on my behavior they would've assumed I was in transition. They begged me to get an epidural as I'm a first time mom and this could be a very long process. My mom told me how proud she was of me and if I got the epi it wouldn't make me any less of a warrior for laboring so hard and doing my best. Did I mention my mom is the best. So, I told my boyfriend and mother the "safe word" I made up for a time like this, and agreed to the epidural. I couldn't take 10 more cms of intense pain like this. (Found out later that it Turns out baby was sunny side up and in the worst head down position possible which made me dilate extra slow.) I stayed at this dilation for the next 7 hours. By 6:10 am my water broke and gushed all over me (I couldn't believe how much came out!) and I felt like things were finally going to move around, they waited until 7:30am to check me and I was only at 3 cm and 75 effaced. Pretty disappointing, but I was in no rush, after all, I already caved into the epidural, baby take as much time as you need! So by 11 am I was 5-6 centimeters dilated, and again,feeling really disappointed. I agreed to pitocin because I figured it would help me dilate more, and the epidural I had only worked on my left side so my anesthesiologist mixed up a "cocktail" that made me completely numb until I decided I wanted to feel during the pushing stage... score! Pitocin made contractions ten times worse than they already were but the numbing effect was awesome. (Except for the diarrhea that constantly dripped out of me and required a nurse to clean up because I was completely numb- my wonderful nurse was worried I may have a virus with how much I was removing and the fact I hadn't eaten). So we started pitocin, baby took to it well and I figured things would progress quickly. Boy was I wrong... long story short by the time 12 hours passed since my water broke, I had a fever, I hadn't progressed at all since 11 am and C-section was the last option. I cried my eyes out, boyfriend and mom, too. They had seen me walk in with confidence that I was going natural and nothing would stop me, to having to decide between my boyfriend and mother of who is going to be with me during an "semi-emergency c-section" with a guarantee my baby boy would be in the NICU for at least 48 hours to make sure he didn't get the "infection" that I may have gotten based on my fever, vomiting and diarrhea. We all cried and the nurse who was absolutely wonderful all day came in and prayed with us to give me peace and bless the hands that would carry out this surgery. I felt a little better, but still had anxiety of what to expect and feeling like a failure. My mother waited in the waiting room and assured me I was going to be fine, after all, she did it three times! I had the cesarean around 7 and he was out by 730 and I was done by 8! I was so exhausted from not eating or sleeping for DAYS at this point, but hearing his cry brought me to tears immediately and a rush came over me! Healing from this is very difficult, as I'm in serious pain and honestly nothing they gave me for pain is working, but I pushed myself to breastfeed in the NICU with my son and I feel like reflecting on this makes me want to bring comfort to those who didn't get to have the birth they planned. You can still make the best of it and you're still An amazing mother who makes sacrifices for the best of you and your child. I know it's hard but when you see they're beautiful face, it doesn't matter anymore. It's all about them and how you can make their life better than yours in every way possible. I'm so in love with my son and I'm praying for you ladies still about to deliver, for safe and joyful births and peace when things may or may not go your way! See pics below for my angel baby and thank you ladies for sharing your pregnancy with me and glow over all this time- I enjoyed relating with you all and participating in the excitement of motherhood together! ❤️