Do you believe...

Question

In some situations do you believe love comes after?
If you had a guy that was everything you wished for but for some reason you don't feel you love him would you accept to marry him believing love will come later? 
Or do you believe you have to be in love first to be with someone? 
If you've been in a situation where you decided to give someone a chance because you saw potential in them, did you ever got to a point where you actually fell in love with this person?

Answer

If you believe love will come later then why not just wait til then to marry them....

Answer

The point of dating is to possibly fall in love with someone, why would you marry someone in the very off chance you might fall in love with them down the line?

Answer

Although my story is a little different, maybe it will help you. It's going to be long, so I apologize for that in advance. 
So, I first met my now SO (let's call him M) 6,5 years ago. I don't even remember seeing or meeting him for the first time because I met like 20-30 new people at that place that day. It was a group of people I would then regularly meet 2-5x a week for about 6 weeks. I guess we started having conversations at some point and discovered we had a pretty similar sense of humor. At that point I was off with an on-off boyfriend and in all honesty I was more interested in my current SO's friend (let's call him A, who was also in that group of people) and I only saw M as a friend. Anyway, I was 23 at the time and had been in relationships for the past 8 years, so I was making up for missed time. I hung out with M quite a bit and he got interested in me. At some point we slept together but it since it was just meh, I wasn't interested in keeping doing that and I wasn't really looking for a relationship. I didn't really even like the way he was touching or kissing me, it was like we just weren't physically compatible. A was never interested in me so that never went anywhere. We stopped hanging out with M a few months after we met. We would remain friends and text and meet from time to time. Fast forward 3,5 years later we hadn't seen for a long time (during that time I had been living in the states for a while and had done some growing up) and we chatted a little and went to see a movie. After that we kept in touch for a few months and we stared talking more and more. We were still just friends because I had someone in the states (P). Well, P and I ended up breaking it off and I got on tinder. Met a few guys, even made it official with one for a little over a month and then the tinder guy said we should end it. During all this I was  talking (more so texting actually) M on daily basis as friends. We even went to the gym together at some point. The tinder guy had really shitty timing because he left me 2 weeks before my bachelors thesis' deadline. I had a lot of work to do but I would just sit behind my computer and have tears streaming down my face. A day or 2 before he left me, M had an accident and he couldn't walk or really do anything. He was at home but needed help with pretty much everything. I brought him crutches, washed his bloody clothes, made his bed, etc. I guess I kind of felt like something was off with the tinder guy but hadn't really acknowledged it yet. I don't know what happened, but it felt like something just clicked inside me after M's accident. I felt so sorry for him (but I wasn't pitying him) because he had a competition coming up in 2 months that he had worked hard for for the past 1,5 years. It was kind of a good fit - I didn't want to be alone and wanted something to keep my thoughts off the break up and he needed help. So we watched movies, I did his grocery shopping and sometimes I'd take him somewhere out to eat. We started getting more and more physical (as in cuddling when watching the movies) but I was a little worried about the fact that I had literally just gotten out of a relationship. We were basically doing couples' things without the title for almost two months. And much to my surprise, I started liking him touching and kissing me. He was still a bit rough but I don't know if I just got used to it or if he changed. The night before he left to Austria to go to his competition, I finally said yes to us being an official thing. He had been asking me for weeks already but I was worried he'd just be a rebound and he's too good of a guy to just be a rebound. 
Our story is long and weird but we joke that when we first met, I had a lot of growing up to do. M is 6 years older than me and he had his hoe phase earlier than I did. We've been together for 2,5 years for now and we're working on our first baby. If someone had told me 6 years ago that M is the man I will want to marry and have babies with, I'd probably laughed so hard I would have cried. So the short answer to your question (finally, I know... 🙄) is that yes, I do believe love can come later. BUT I don't suggest marrying the person and then waiting for love to come because there's no telling how that will work out. 
Good luck!

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