Am I crazy?!

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year and a half. He’s 5 years older than I. We’re supper open with each other and tell each other everything. He’s the one.

Here’s the problem. My brain always tells me he’s cheating on me.

Not just the gut feeling. But legit his location will be on and he’ll send me a photo of him at home and my brain will make up some bizarre scenario.

I’ve NEVER been the jealous type before and when we first started dating I wasn’t the jealous type either.

I did noticed i started to get anxiety as soon as I got onto the DEPO shot.

I talked to him about it and explained how I’ve been feeling and he reassured me he had no intention of cheating. He said “if you’re anxiety of me cheating is getting so bad call me, I don’t care what time it is I’ll tell you exactly what I’m doing, ive been cheated on before and I know that feeling of anxiety and being unsure”

But as time has gone on he is starting to get tired and kind of annoyed? I mean who wouldn’t be if they’re constantly getting asked/accused of cheating.

he tells me “I wouldn’t be with you if I were happy”

Don’t get me wrong I don’t text and call yelling at him asking what he’s doing and what he’s with all psycho. I also don’t prohibit him from hanging out with his friends. I’m the type of person that says “everything’s good if it’s fair. No double standards” as long as you’re cool with me going to a bar with the girls, you can go with the guys. He isn’t comfortable with me going to the bar, so he doesn’t go either. (Not my decision, his)

I will sometimes text and ask what he’s doing or why he is taking so long to reply but sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me and I ask in a rude way or insinuate he’s with another girl. And the thing is the “cheating anxiety” comes and goes so it has me convinced it’s a hormonal thing? My periods are beyond insane on the shot. I bled all of OCT.

I have tried so hard to put this feeling away and ignore it but my brain just won’t turn off I don’t know what to do? I don’t honestly BELIEVE he would ever cheat on me, my brain just builds these scenarios where I see him being with another woman. Should I try getting off of BC or am I just crazy?