I'm near delivery and absolutely terrified to breastfeed. I have been abused and have some negative feelings about nipple stimulation outside of sexual situations specifically with my partner, and even that bothers me sometimes. I'm worried it'll make it harder to bond with my baby or I might just be unable to bear doing it at all. I've been pumping some already and hate how it feels. Would nipple shields help? Is there a numbing cream I could use? Could I exclusively pump? I really want my baby to get breast milk but I'm scared to do this.