There have been days that infertility has stolen my life, my joy and my peace right from under my nose.Days where I have spent countless hours obsessing over what may never be. Days when I have searched google and Pinterest for supplements, diets, and, devices that aid conception and days I have spent countless hours adding baby announcement ideas, baby essentials, baby food and articles on how to be a good parent to secret boards.I have spent countless nights mulling over baby names only to realize that it’s 3AM and that I’m no closer to having a baby to give that name to than I was when I opened the web page 2 hours ago, and I have spent days,weeks and years praying to God, to let this be the month, let this be the Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthday or Father’s day that I get to tell my husband that he’s going to be a daddy. I have cried until no more tears could be cried, I have felt alone, I have felt anger and, I have felt resentment, sadly that’s what infertility does to you. It changes the person you are. It dampens your spirit and changes you plans. Growing up I dreamed and planned only two things, one was getting married and the second, was becoming a mommy. That does not go to say that the fear of not being able to have a child didn’t start at a young age because it did. I was around 13 the first time that I felt true fear over never being able to have children. I don’t know if it was just coincidence or if somehow God was preparing me early on for the troubles ahead. My guess is that I will never know why that fear started so early in my life, but I do know that even with years of fear and anxiety under my belt it has never once lightened the blow of the countless negative pregnancy tests, it has never once lightened the blow of the pregnancy announcements I see on Facebook and it has never once dampened the blow of knowing that I may never get the privilege of becoming a parent. The only thing that I can focus on now after 3 ½ years of infertility is making sure that I continue to pray and believe that God can change all of this, and even if he doesn’t answer this specific prayer, I know without a doubt that God is still good. If I can just remember that I know that I can make it through anything.