I’m posting this anonymously so I’ll just be entirely blunt about everything.

Last Friday I got high. Too high. It was an accident and it was kinda scary. I was at my long-time boyfriend’s apartment during a kickback with friends. He carried me to bed and tucked me in. I started drifting in and out of consciousness. One time when I woke up, he was having sex with me.

We talked about it the next day and we both cried. He feels absolutely awful and said I was actually responsive and stuff. He just absolutely hates himself for it. It was an accident and we both admit that.

But now, when we try to have sex again, I burst into tears which makes him cry too and then we both feel like shit again.

How can he learn to forgive himself, as I have already forgiven him? And how can I tell myself that it’s okay to have consensual sex?