I’m sorry if this is too long, I’m just trying to see if I’m alone....

My husband only gets off if he makes me do stuff I REALLY don’t want to do. Tonight he made me walk around outside wearing nothing but a *completely* open front vest (no bra) & a pair of see-through panties and flip flops. I bawled my eyes out the whole time. He then made me give him head, which was difficult because I couldn’t stop crying. He had me stop a couple of times because I wasn’t “able” to do a good job. He says he doesn’t understand why I have a problem since I wasn’t naked. He said he sees people all the time dressed in skimpier clothes.

If I do something that pushes my boundaries but doesn’t make me completely freak out, it ends up not being enough of a turn-on for him. He just says he’ll compromise by having me do a bunch of stuff on top of it that WILL totally freak me out. He gets really upset if I don’t want to do the extra stuff.

If I don’t do that sort of stuff for him he tells me I’m “frigid” and it doesn’t feel like we are close anymore. He says I feel like I’m his ex that he’s just friends with.

Two weeks ago he told me to take off my clothes while we were stuck in traffic. I actually had a panic attack and think I might have had a stroke. I went numb and couldn’t move or talk. I lost feeling in the right half of my body. I was just sitting there naked while I watched helplessly as he rubbed me and pinched my nipples. When we got home, he pulled me out of the car and kind of half dragged/half carried me to the house because I literally couldn’t move my legs without assistance. He then put me in bed and fucked me. Then left me in bed while he went and looked at porn on the computer. I was in bed for around 6 or so hours before I was able to kind of move and talk again. He had come to bed at that point and I tried to tell him I thought I might have just had a stroke, but he just told me that he thought I knew he had a fantasy about a sex bot and thought I was “acting” out his fantasy. He says he didn’t know anything was wrong and thought I was finally ok with him doing stuff like that to me.

According to him, forced coercion is a pretty popular thing in porn and is totally normal. He makes me feel TERRIBLE about how bad at sex I am. I’ve been with him for around 18 years (since I was in high school) and everything outside of sex isn’t bad. We get along well when it’s not sex related. I’ve been with him for more than half of my life at this point. I can’t imagine my life without him, but I’m not sure what to do about all of the daily sex stuff. Saying “no” seems to make things worse.

Any advice or shared stories?!