today has been one of the hardest days of my life. at the moment all I feel like doing is sleeping. sleeping this pain away. last week I found out I was pregnant with our first child, today I got confirmation from the doctor that I was indeed pregnant, and today I miscarried our first child in the bath. They say at 6 weeks you can't see much but let me tell you, at 6 weeks the miscarrying pain is crippling, I get bad period pains and this was a million times worse, at 4am I woke up feeling a gush of blood (luckily I had put a pad on the evening before), I went to the toilet and sure enough the pad was covered in Blood, I decided to just clean myself up and try go back to sleep. It took me a while, but I did. I woke back up at around 8.30 experiencing severe cramps, my husband had already left for work so it was just me and the dog. I decided to run a bath as I've always found baths calm me down and help with pain. I got in and immediately passed 2 small clots with quite a bit of blood. I thought "ok that's not too bad" fast forward half an hour and I can barely move I'm in so much pain, I can feel a clot waiting to come out, so I give a small push and a clot the size of a 50p comes out. it's rough in texture on one side, so I'm thinking by this point I was never pregnant and my period was just 10 days late for some unknown reason. another 10 minutes of crippling pain and the same thing happens again, except the clot that comes out this time is smooth all over, apart from one small bump, which is the size of a red lentil, the size that the app says my embryo would have been at. I took a picture of all the clots and immediately sent them to my best friend, who confirmed that if I was pregnant I was having a miscarriage (she's been through several). I told her I would wait for the doctor's call before getting too disheartened. fast forward to around 12.30 where I'm on the phone to my mum, the doctors number comes up, I put my mum on hold and answer the doctors call. after a few brief moments of hellos etc my world is torn apart when I hear the words "your blood test results have come back positive". I explain to my doctor about the mornings events and she agrees it is most likely a miscarriage. I am going back on Wednesday for another test to ensure my hcg levels are decreasing and that I've passed everything out, my husband believes that until we are told otherwise, we are still pregnant, as there are stories of women having full blown periods whilst pregnant. but I'm not getting my hopes up. I had a good cry on the phone to my mum and my husband, and now I don't know how to feel, this baby has been over 2 years in the making, and I honestly thought we'd never get that confirmation, and it's so so crushing that in one breath your given so much joy and despair. to everyone going through something similar, I'm 8so sorry for your losses. we have decided to start trying again asap for our rainbow baby, and

I'm going to try and lose some weight to see if that will help. love and baby dust to everyone.