I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Typically we met online (not how I intended to meet someone). The first year or two was pretty rough, although he's 4 years older than me he was quite immature and would flirt with others, he took cocaine whilst we were out (I was unaware) but I found this out when he crazily offered me some!!!! and he had a gambling addiction, he became reliant on me borrowing money to him when he used to hit rock bottom. He's gotten rid of all these bad habits but there's just this lingering feeling. Throughout these 4 years with him I feel like I've become a woman. I'm feeling confident, I work, Im studying and I have a really small but amazing group of friends who I trust and who are always there for me. At this point, I feel like he loves me more than he has done before. But he's my first boyfriend, and I always think is there better out there someone who can love me properly from the start? Do I ignore this feeling or act on it? I really don't know...