So I know this is wrong but I just needed to let it out somewhere.

Firstly, I am Christian and porn is a sin in the church... my husband used to have an addiction and then he's gotten better and now, no longer watches it, and I am so happy, because I wouldn't feel great about the idea of him jacking off to some other girl. Not only that but I have extreme self image and confidence issues, so it would hurt me. I just hate it because I know I'm being hypocritical.

I am not stopping him from watching it because he never does. He even dislikes porn, a lot. However I have been watching porn since a young age... I never got given 'the talk' so I turned to other means, and stumbled across porn when I was perhaps 12 or 13. So I've been watching it ever since, even until now, but I hate myself for it and I can't stand the thought of him watching it or even talking about it. I'm the only person who knows I watch it, I've never told anyone, but I genuinely think I may have some kind of addiction, and I just don't know how to go about it because I don't want to tell anyone... and I know it's something I need to repent for in my church but by doing so, my husband would find out...

I feel like a disgusting human being for it but I just can't help myself, and I need to find a way to stop it before my husband catches me and gets hurt.