Back in August of 2015 I lost two jobs after I was diagnosed with epilepsy. Then everything was falling apart. My ex husband was not supportive, he started to resent me and hate me and then I realized I started to feel the same towards him. I tried taking my own life, I took 30mg of Xanax in 15mins but obviously I’m still here. I officially left after that in September. October came around and I was living with my mom, for Halloween I drove out to him so that we could both trick or treat with our daughter. We finished and then I needed more of my things from the apartment. We went alone which was a bad idea. He started begging for sex one last time. I specifically said I didn’t want to do it 3 times. But he manipulated me, he started telling me he deserved it one more time, that I had to. I was crying but did it anyway and felt like shit afterwards. I never actually said yes but I still did it. Now I get depressed every year about it and I’ve never told anyone because I don’t know if I was raped or not.. I feel like it but I also feel like I’m wrong. It’s not even the first time, an ex boyfriend tried to force me to give oral and receive but if I actually fought him off, my ex husband I couldn’t. He was abusive so I knew what he was capable of doing...