We had been arguing for a few days so I went over to get my things and maybe end it on a high note... I sat in his bed and we talked and laid down. He grabbed my hand and put it on himself and began rubbing using my hand. I told him it wasn’t right. So he took my hand off and got behind me and began touching me. My body stiffened and I asked him to stop. I was wiggling and moving every part of my body to try and get him off but with every movement that left my body he tightened his grip on me leaving my arms unable to move. I kicked my legs and squirmed and moved my hips to try and get him away but it was no use his grip around me got tighter and tighter. He turned me over and used his legs to pin my arms down and made me give him a blowjob. I didn’t want to. My eyes were tearing up at this point. I told him “why are you doing this.” with tears streaming down my face “you are taking advantage of me” he looked at me for a while and asked me “what do you want then” and I said “not this I don’t want anything” he looked at me for a while my arms still pinned under his weight and he got off. He turned me to the side took my pants off and I told him to stop while kicking around and trying to make him stop and to make it obvious it wasn’t what I️ wanted Eventually I gave up I knew he wasn’t going to let me go and i let him do what he wanted. He ate me out and I️ cried the whole time. It was so hard to get him off of me. He had sex with me while I cried in pain. I was lifeless and he saw I was crying but still didn’t stop... Is this rape?

(I wrote TW in the title because I didn’t want anyone to hurt, I put detail in it because it’s exactly how it happened, If this isn’t allowed I will delete it but I feel as if this is my only safe space/outlet to let people hear me out on this one)

Also: thank you for your replies it all means so much.