I'm posting anonymously because I'm still not used to having told literally anyone about what happened to me as a child. When I was a little girl (around 8-9 years old), my dad would come into my room while I was sleeping, wake me up, and force me to rub his penis. I was always sleepy/confused and very naive, and he always made it seem like it wasn't a big deal. I never told anyone that it happened. Fast forward 20 years, and my new husband and I were having a conversation about why I'm strange about giving hand jobs. I have no had problem having sex, but I'm repulsed by using my hands to touch him. I kept pretending I didn't know why, but eventually broke down and told him what happened to me as a child. He was very sweet and understanding about it, but didn't understand why I had never told my mom. I told him I'd spent 20 years pretending it didn't happen and it was too late. Well my mom of course wanted to know why my husband's attitude toward my dad changed and he refused to be around him but I would only say it was something from the past and I didn't want to discuss it.

Well, yesterday I finally told her. We cried together and she kept apologizing for not seeing it (which I of course don't blame her for.)

My dad is out of town until Monday and my mom is trying to decide what to do. I'm feeling horribly guilty for how upset she is even though she and my husband both keep telling me this isn't my fault, it's my Dad's.

I don't know what's going to happen when my dad comes back and I'm terrified.

Did I do the right thing telling her?

Also, to add, I'm pregnant with my first child and would never allow him to stay at their house without telling my mom, so it would have had to come out before the baby comes in March.

I'm just feeling scared and somehow still guilty.

Any advice?