I didn’t think it would be like this. I had no idea that I would feel this way. I think I made a mistake marrying my husband simply because he has kids. I knew he had kids, although it took me some time to figure out exactly how everyone fit in. He kept saying he had three but then only mention two girls coming over for visitation and all their ages were 11,10 and 9. Turns out the 11 year old isn’t biologically his. The 10 yr old is from a previous girlfriend and lives in another state and the 9 yr old is from his previous marriage. I had my doubts about taking on 3 kids but once I found out all this, I felt better. I thought I could be a great step mom. I thought we could blend our families easily.

But I was wrong. I hate his kid. She’s like this wild animal with no training and he thinks it’s cute. That’s not how I raised my son. And he changed jobs and is a truck driver. So he’s gone ALL THE TIME and it just so happens to land when she’s here. So I’m stuck with her. Only the 9 yr old is coming now. Thank God. I’m 5 months pregnant and I just have no patience for her. I can’t stand her. I’m mad at myself for feeling this way but I just can’t help it. And we fight over it EVERY SINGLE WEEK because she’s here every week. If I would have known that this was how I was going to feel, I would have never gotten involved. I’m just not cut out to deal with other people’s kids. I just feel like I made a huge mistake and now that I’m pregnant, I’m stuck. Well that and I gave up my career and sold my house so I have nothing left to stand on. I wanted to be a sahm. I might get some hate for this and some of you might feel the need to put me in my place. I’m ok with that. I just needed to vent. I needed to tell someone that I made a mistake.

Update...

Ok so to answer a couple of your questions and give a little more background:

We met online through a website affiliated with our church. We lived in different states so I never got to meet his kid until after we got married and I moved. He did fly down a few times to meet in person.

Honestly, everything is great between us except where the kids are concerned. It’s the only reason we fight.

We tried talking to the mother to change visitation and she refused. She doesn’t care. She’s a total Bitch and will do anything to make him miserable. So we are going through the court to get it changed. He does want to see his kid he just thinks she’s perfect and can do no wrong. I think it’s guilt for the divorce and not being able to have her all the time.

It is possible that I’m having a hard time because she’s a girl. Never could stand girls and I’m hoping with every fiber of my being that this baby is a boy. If not then maybe I’ll feel differently? I definitely feel he is more concerned over her than me. He’ll call me crying because he misses her or be consumed with worry over her but he doesn’t do any of that over me. If I get emotional he tells me that I’m an adult and I need to just deal. No empathy. No nothing.

Am I wrong for thinking he should be more concerned over me? I’m carrying his child for crying out loud and one day these kids are going to grow up and we will be left with each other. I should be his priority and I shouldn’t feel like I have to compete.

Ugh I really hate how ugly this sounds and I really wish I didn’t feel this way.

I appreciate the sympathy, ladies! I thought I was going to get a much harsher reaction.