So, my hubby introduced me to threesomes about 8 years ago. I fantasized about it for a while. Then he set up email accounts and ad's on Craig's list. He did all the communication, I was too uncomfortable, or nervous about it. we met a girl, and have a relationship with her,...kind of. Very discrete, we have done it maybe 5-10 times over the past 8 years. We are all friend's as well. Every time we do this.....I feel like the third wheel. I don't ever orgasm, and towards the end, I end up watching them finish. He cums inside.her too, usually....He has never finished with me, during a threesome. She has a man and is in a relationship. Her man has no clue we do this sometimes.My.husband always likes every post or anything she puts on social media. Her name is in the search bar of Facebook...So that

means he looks at her page (and actually looks her up everyday) not just seeing it in the news feed. I'm bothered by this. Maybe I shouldn't be. I want 2 men at once, and he doesn't like that idea at all. He cheated on me, when we were engaged, and I didn't follow my gut, and end the relationship way back then. looking back, I probably should have. He's a good man, other than these sex issues. And some other little things. I don't want to break up our. family. My self esteem is very low, and I suffer from severe depression at times. I just don't know what to think. Watching him have sex with her tonight messed me up.I guess I'm.just venting. I do it to keep him happy and her too because she's a very close friend of mine. I think I'm just lost and confused. Thanks for listening to this mess.