I feel like I have

nothing to live for I meet a guy on line he lived about half hr train ride from me I tho everything was perfect then I got pregnant but had a miscarriage I didn't think anyone would wanna be with me because I have spinabifida. he had mental health issues & binge drank a few times but mostly gambling thought he loved me then tx to say can't be with me needs to be on his own after him getting small loans in my account with credit card I aggred but left me paying them back. I've started selfharming to cope.& his family & him said to never contact them again he even got loans out in his mum's name without her knowledge I just feel so useless he was my first everything