Okay, so I am engaged to a lovely trans man. We have a good relationship, but our communication sucks at times and we are actively working on it. (Also, we have been financially strapped for about a year as I am going to school and I feel this stress also doesn’t help our situation). ANYWAYS. Felt I had to give a back story. Lol

He has been working more hours as of late. Super tired, doesn’t want to do ANYTHING after work or on his days off because he’s tired. Okay, I hear you. But he has been lacking in the hygiene department. Here’s my issue. As a child and teenager he was made fun of intensely. He was considered the “stinky kid.” Ever since then he has been hyper aware of his body smells and is quite insecure at times about it. Because of the lack of hygiene, his junk stinks. (Another back story, I have a crazy sense of smell and is the first one to tell you if something is going bad, or if you smell like a gym bag.)

On his days off, and he’s using the bathroom frequently throughout the day, the toilet seat and area smells like sour body parts mixed with sweat and dirty belly button. (Sorry for the description). And I really CANT EVEN. I started to leave a rag with mr clean on the back of the toilet because I couldn’t stand the smell.

I may have reacted the other day inappropriately and said “honey, the toilet smells like dirty vagina, can you please wipe the seat cause it’s kinda yucky.”

He got really super offended, and was nasty and passive aggressive towards me for the rest of the day. It’s been a week and he now won’t let me touch his body if he hasn’t showered, or he flinches and gets insecure. I apologized for what had been said after it happened, and I understand that his reaction is because of his experiences as a child. I just don’t know what exactly to do now if it happens again, or how to bring it up!

PLEASE! I NEED SOME ADVICE!