Pretend you’re in my shoes for a minute. What would you do?

Let’s say your family you come from a wealthy family. So wealthy & powerful they can get themselves out of any sorts of trouble they find themselves in.

Your dad takes marries a beautiful woman that comes from a small, lower class family.

He sees it as a power move, because she’s never had it this good before. Next thing, You’re born into this family.

The rest of the family has so much money and power, family get togethers are alcohol & drug fueled free for all’s in million dollar mansions. The men are pigs and will sexually assault and physically fight their women. The woman usually stick together but awkwardly chat about things they don’t actually care about. This was all normal.

Now say your daughter comes to you saying her teenaged cousin won’t stop touching her inappropriately and physically beating his 6 year old brother if we try to stop it.

You tell your husband and he ignores everything. He doesn’t believe his 7 year old daughter would put up with that. Physical fights and alcoholism begins from him. At the age of 8, your husband slaps your daughter’s ass and tells her how beautiful she is. Your 20 year old son follows his dad and slaps your daughter’s ass. She’s uncomfortable, because every time she tries to escape the bloody physical fighting taking place, she’s forced to walk to the only other place she knows which is her aunt’s and uncles house.

Her uncle begins teaching his teenage son how to play with her correctly. A grown ass man with his filthy fucking hands touches your daughter, and only prolongs the sexual abuse in that house hold. The mom begs for her husband to listen and he calls her a cunt and a liar. One of your cousin’s friend’s comes to your house on his own telling you that he told his mom about the abuse. He told me don’t be scared, there are good people. The cousin is sent away to a military school. Once he told his roommate why he was there, he got the shit beat out of him. The aunt started a rumor that your mom was cheating to protect her husband. Your uncle’s the most powerful well known lawyer in a major city, there’s no way your family could possible press charges. Using that cheating rumor was the only escape for your mom to protect you and get the fuck out of there. Most the family didn’t take her side. Your siblings and father stayed behind.

Fast forward, 15 years later. All the alcohol and drug abuse is taking your father’s mind. He’s no longer the scary distant violent man you grew up with. He’s an elderly lonely man, that may be suffering from Alzheimer’s and schizophrenia. He’s trying to be kind and you’ve painfully grew up with him for the last 8 years. He’s had too many near death experiences and your hearts too big to let him die alone.

I’m having a baby with the love of my life. The aunts threw me a baby shower and all want my baby to be part of their lives again. They’re all elderly people and you can tell most of them have changed into kinder versions of themselves. It’s painful because I have a hole in my heart from the pain they’ve caused me and my family. I can’t forgive the past. I’m so depressed inside I’m numb. I don’t want my daughter near them, but legally I’m stuck here for a few more months to help a friend in court. It’s so painful. What do I do? Ive always wanted to have a relationship with my dad and for the last few years it feels like we finally have a little something happening. I know I’ll never get an apology, and I know he doesn’t remember much. I feel so physically, mentally, and spiritually trapped during this pregnancy.